Said Michael

Feeling

You just woke up, and as soon as you do, you realize you don’t feel tired. Where is that terrible feeling that your entire day will not be a mess?

In fact, now that you think of it, you haven’t been feeling that dread for some time now. When did it leave? You shake this thought and get ready for your day. Your day. The people you usually hold correspondences with are nicer. Every so often, you feel as if there is a sudden stroke of luck in your life, a good turn of events that is just too good to pass up or shy away from.

How have things turned out so well for you? It’s been weeks now since you first felt like this, and there is not a single stain on your conscience yet. Rather, there is a near total absence of stupid decisions, and the void that it created has been filled up with a more motivated character for you to harness.

Years have passed since this feeling first hit you. It has not wavered once, nor dimmed, nor shook from opposing forces. You are now calm and collected. The world may as well be yours, because you know that you can now handle whatever might come your way. The feeling that you can face the day is there, from sunup to sundown. All the while, strength courses through you. It is not merely physical, but mental and moral strength. As you grow more and more, you feel as if you have become something greater than you could have ever imagined than when you hit that distant extreme low of your life. People know you as a reliable figure in their lives, and you are grateful for every second.

But then, one day, it’s gone. You wake up, and there is no warm, happy feeling inside of you. Something makes you hesitate to get out of bed. The terrible realization hits you hard and fast: you’ve lost it. It’s over.

Where do I go from here? you ask. You seem so afraid of the world around you—Why did you use my help as a crutch for your own personal achievements? You knew that I would not be here forever and that someday, you would need to fend for yourself. It is not the feeling that made your life turn around, but how you acted upon it.

Make your own feeling now, my friend. That strength you think you lost has been and is always there, but lacked the ability for it to be used. I have seen what you became with something as little and meager as what I gave you, and can only begin to imagine what you can accomplish on your own.